


Celestial Spirit Studies

by jabedalien



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Darkest Timeline, Evil, M/M, Minor Character Death, Murder, Past Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:48:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27333688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jabedalien/pseuds/jabedalien
Summary: “What, thought I was someone else?” Abed grins.The bass is vibrating through Jeff’s back as he’s pushed against the wall by someone who he’s belatedly identified as Evil Abed. His first thought is that Abed was probably going to be pissed Jeff hadn’t been keeping an eye out for doppelgangers like he always promised he would.
Relationships: Abed Nadir/Evil Jeff Winger, Abed Nadir/Jeff Winger, Evil Abed Nadir/Jeff Winger
Comments: 5
Kudos: 46





	Celestial Spirit Studies

**Author's Note:**

> There are a few mentions of violence/murder in this fic but it doesn't go into graphic detail, regardless you can always message me on tumblr (im jabedalien there too! if you have any questions/want me to give a more detailed warning before you read)
> 
> It's not important to know what song is playing in the beginning but I will tell you it is space ghost coast to coast by glass animals, which is also where i got the title from because i hate titles.

Jeff’s standing in the middle of the crowd, colors bouncing off the walls and blacklights illuminating the glowing paint graffitied onto the hallways and smeared over the skin of everyone around him. He’s not really dancing, but he’s drunk enough to pretend by moving along vaguely to the music just enough for Britta not to call him a buzzkill. He’s coming to terms with the fact that the Dean does a pretty good job with this place when he feels like it, when a familiar hand runs down his side.

“Come with me.” Abed demands, grabbing him just a bit too tightly around the wrist and dragging him along before he can reply.

The thought of Abed consumes Jeff, who’s watching the back of his head as he guides them through the crowd into a secluded corner behind the DJ stand. Jeff hadn’t realized how badly he needed him, how close he’d been to crawling out of his skin before Abed whisked him away until they’d finally escaped the lights and noise and everyone’s sweaty bodies pressing into his.

“What’d you bring me here for?” Jeff asks, cringing only a little at how jumbled the words sound falling out of his mouth, but it doesn’t matter when he’s just saying them to move the drunken hookup along a little faster.

“It took me way too long to find you.” Abed says, ignoring the question with a frustrated sigh, and a flashing blue light passes over him.

Abed examines Jeff’s face as his eyes pan over the black coat and a turtleneck, decidedly  _ not _ what he’d last seen Abed wearing twenty minutes ago. He stops short at the sight of Abed’s hand, casually resting over a holster on his hip.

“What, thought I was someone else?” he grins.

The bass is vibrating through Jeff’s back as he’s pushed against the wall by someone who he’s belatedly identified as Evil Abed. His first thought is that Abed was probably going to be pissed Jeff hadn’t been keeping an eye out for doppelgangers like he always promised he would.

Evil Abed’s lost the goatee, which Jeff had always been ambivalent about but his Abed maintained was a terrible choice aesthetically. Jeff isn’t sure what the signature scent of villainy is, but Evil Abed smells like paint, cologne, and cigarettes. It’s intoxicating, or maybe the punch had been spiked with something stronger than vodka. He moves his hand from the holster and pulls a knife from his pocket.

Jeff’s heart flies into his throat. He knew Evil Abed was going to be evil, but he was still  _ Abed _ too, right? He’d always assumed that even Abed at his most ruthless would still have a soft spot for him, but maybe he was giving himself a bit too much credit. 

“Are you gonna kill me?” Jeff asks, trying to feign confidence and getting nowhere fast.

Evil Abed chuckles and spins the knife around in his hand, playing with the blade. “Don’t worry, there’s really nothing to gain by killing you. We’re only here for fun.”

There’s a mess of silver rings adorning his fingers, and Jeff's eyes catch one with a yellow stone.

“Evil Jeff likes getting them for me.” Evil Abed says, looking down at his hands with a smirk. The black lines of tattoos peek out on his wrists, and Jeff has to hold himself back from pushing Evil Abed's sleeve up to look at them. 

“I’m sure.” Jeff retorts.

“I know you wish you weren’t broke so you could spoil your Abed.” He says, leaning in close. “Drop a few grand on a ring just cause he likes how shiny stuff looks in the sun? Take him on dates to five star restaurants where he orders buttered noodles to the horror of the entire staff? Pick out clothes for him from all the designers that you pretend to know nothing about?”

“Abed doesn’t even give a shit about that kind of stuff.” Jeff protests.

“Maybe your Abed doesn’t, but  _ you _ do. Come on Jeff, you’re superficial as all hell. No amount of brightest timeline bullshit is gonna change that. Nice things are  _ nice _ , Winger,” He says, placing the tip of the knife against Jeff’s chest. “Plus, you don’t think your Abed would want a DeLorean?”

Jeff rolls his eyes. “You got me there, he’d probably love a DeLorean.”

“He would, because I fucking love mine. It’s great. Our life is fun and you know it.”

“What do you guys even  _ do _ ?” Jeff asks. As distracted as he could be by how great all that sounded, there was still a gun strapped to Evil Abed’s hip he couldn’t forget about.

“We’re evil together. Schemes, plots, murder, all the rest. Pretty much whatever we want.”

Evil Abed points to a door, just as Jeff follows his gaze it swings open, two shadowy figures coming into view. It’s his Abed and someone who seems to be Evil Jeff, wearing a long coat that matches Evil Abed’s with the right sleeve pinned.

“Why’s he so tall?” Jeff asks, noticing the way Abed’s reaching to kiss him, practically climbing up his chest.

“He puts inserts in his shoes. Thinks it makes him more intimidating.” Evil Abed says, pressing himself to Jeff’s back as they both watch and running a hand down Jeff’s chest. “Or maybe he just knows that I'm into it." he muses. 

Jeff feels himself relax against the touch instinctively, like his body assumes it’s his Abed. Suddenly he spots a black band on Evil Abed’s hand and pulls it into view, inspecting his left ring finger.

“Abed Nadir-Winger.” Evil Abed says proudly, the second syllable of Jeff’s name rolling off his tongue. “Evil prefix optional. Are you surprised?”

“Yeah, a little.” Jeff admits.

“He wanted me to be Abed Winger, but I told him that sounded stupid. He was pretty insistent on evil marrying me, though.”

“Is that any different than actual marriage?”

“Not particularly.”

“Why’d you do it?”

“I’ll tell you the story.” Evil Abed says, as the sound of a door shutting barely echoes over the music. “I’m clearly losing the bet anyways.”

* * *

Abed peers down at Evil Jeff’s shoes, a pair of steel-toed combat boots with a small heel. He seems to have at least a few inches on his Jeff, the top of his head nearly at the doorframe as he leans against it, running a hand through his hair.

“You’re going along with this easier than Evil Abed told me you would.” Evil Jeff says, a hint of disbelief still in his voice."

“He should’ve known I’d like all this,” Abed answers. “My Jeff doesn’t wear makeup. Not in front of anyone but me, at least.”

“That’s cause your Jeff’s a coward.” Evil Jeff gives him a self-satisfied grin. “I bet your Jeff daydreams about a timeline like mine, where everyone just  _ knows. _ Knows everything.”

“I can’t bring up the contents of our private conversations.” Abed tells him.

“So he _does_ , and then he tells you about it?”

Abed shrugs, leaning closer into Evil Jeff as the cool air settles around them. He only has a t-shirt on, and despite the cold blue of his eyes Evil Jeff still seems warm in the same way his Jeff is.

"Pretty much." Abed admits.

"I'm sure that's just a ton of fun for both of you." Evil Jeff laughs. 

When Evil Jeff's fingers reach out to touch Abed's face, he surrenders immediately because he can’t imagine a universe in which he doesn’t. The person in front of him is everything about Jeff that drives Abed a little wild taken up a notch: thrilling, sardonic, taller than him.

Upon further inspection, the sweater is actually a very dark purple, soft between his thumb and forefinger, and he’s drawn to it in a way he can’t understand. Abed can hardly register the music playing a ways off, but his hearing was always better than Jeff’s. He wonders if Evil Jeff can hear it at all.

The height only makes him a more imposing figure when he presses Abed to the bricks, his forearm heavy across Abed’s chest. Evil Jeff leans down to kiss him, Abed tilting his chin up to meet his lips. It’s exactly what he was expecting, bruising and desperate, his rough hand shifting to wrap around Abed’s hip possessively.

“Can we go inside and--” Abed begins to ask when they break apart, with wide eyes and a smirk only his Jeff has ever gotten.

“Do you just want to see where my arm was?” Evil Jeff sighs.

“Most definitely.”

“You are so fucked up, you know that?” Evil Jeff replies, but he opens the door and lets Abed sneak inside beside him. “Evil Abed told me you’d do this.”

On the other side is the orchestra room, and before Abed can say anything, Evil Jeff is all over him again. Abed wraps his hands around the back of Evil Jeff’s neck to hold them together as he leads them to a secluded room. When the door shuts Evil Jeff barely pauses to shrug his coat off, tossing it over the back of a chair. He keeps going, his hand sliding down Abed’s back, leaving him scrambling against the piano in the corner of the room. Abed’s hands reach behind him, searching for the edge until Evil Jeff’s grabbing his ass and picking him up. He perches on the edge, wrapping his legs around Evil Jeff’s waist to hold him close, kissing him until they’re both breathless.

When they break apart, Abed takes his shirt off and drops it to the floor, then teases his fingers at the hem of Evil Jeff’s sweater before he raises his arm and Abed pulls it over his head.

“It’s really nothing special.” Evil Jeff shrugs, waving vaguely at his right side and the scars across his chest. 

“I was mostly just curious.” Abed tells him. “If it looks like it does in movies and stuff.”

“I swear, you meet one Abed and you’ve met them all.” Evil Jeff laughs.

“I’m not complaining, but why are you here?” Abed asks. “Are you not sleeping with me in your timeline?”

“I’m  _ definitely _ sleeping with you in my timeline.” Evil Jeff answers. “We made a bet on who could seduce each other’s prime timeline counterparts the fastest.”

Abed grins. “You could have just told me that.”

* * *

Evil Abed sits down in the corner, and Jeff fits in next to him, tangling their legs together as he leans in close to talk over the music still playing out on the dance floor.

“Once we killed Chang it was pretty easy to take over Greendale. Eventually we got things running smoothly, or as good as they can get in our shithole of a school. We were a marked improvement over Chang’s reign, and everyone saw us as a decent alternative to whatever the hell he’d been up to, so we weren’t met with much resistance.

From there, we struck up a deal with the school board guys. They needed a gay dean, so Evil Jeff told them he was gay. They didn’t believe him, which he was a bit insulted by. So he married me in the study room to prove it.

Once he got onto the school board he negotiated what we needed for Greendale. Working toilets, a full-service bar, a helicopter and all the rest.

Then we robbed a bank, because we needed money and it seemed like a good test of exactly how far we could take our evil enterprise. Though Annie and Britta did the bulk of the work for that mission.

The school board guys had been getting on Evil Jeff’s nerves. They didn’t like our relationship or the fact that I was pulling all the strings at Greendale and was the only one Evil Jeff actually answered to. They also weren’t very into his new look, because he’d apparently crossed the line into ‘Too gay for the school board’ when he started wearing mascara. So the second they stopped being useful we got rid of them and moved on.”

“You  _ killed _ Richie and Carl?” Jeff asks, astounded.

“Chang, too. And I’m not done yet.”

“Who killed who?” Jeff asks, not sure why the answer matters.

“Well I killed Chang. Evil Jeff shot first, but he was still learning to aim with his left arm. And I can’t tell Richie and Carl apart.”

“Damn it, neither can I.” Jeff mutters under his breath.

“From there we started working with your old law firm. Playing Wolf of Wall Street was fun for a while. But then all the coke and shady backroom deals got kind of stale. I guess Evil Jeff thought he’d still fit in with that kind of crowd. But we realized pretty fast all their evil was superficial bullshit. We had Greendale in the palm of our hand, and the greater Greendale area was slowly falling under our influence too. Those guys just wanted drugs and strippers and fancy cars. We wanted real power.”

Jeff found himself nodding along to Evil Abed’s story despite himself. Because he couldn’t deny that deep down a part of him  _ did _ want that, that he had plenty of fantasies about silencing all the people who stood in his way. Maybe not through murder, but he could see how the conclusion had been reached in their timeline.

“Eventually Evil Jeff was tired of those guys too, particularly Alan. Who was jealous of me.” Evil Abed adds the last part with a satisfied air, chipping black nail polish off his fingers. “So he was the one who killed Alan. Not sure about everyone else in the boardroom. I’d say a pretty even split.”

“Never liked Alan, but I can’t imagine murdering him.” Jeff says.

“He tried to kill me first.”

Jeff ponders this for about half a second. “Yeah, I’d totally murder him.”

Evil Abed nods. “I don’t actually know if the rest of them were in on it, but Evil Jeff wasn’t taking chances.”

“You got away with all of this?”

“We can get away with just about anything. We’re gonna rule the world.” Evil Abed says with conviction, a self-assuredness only Abed cold ever possess. “The two of us balance each other out. It’s the perfect formula.”

“Any other milestones on your path to world domination?” Jeff asks.

“If that was a backwards was of asking if Evil Jeff killed his dad, then yeah, he did.”

Evil Abed was pretty much spot-on, and Jeff couldn’t think of anything to say in response.

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?” Evil Abed says, like a question he already knows the answer to. “That my Jeff dresses however he wants. Tells everyone we’re married. Disposes of anyone who has a problem with him, his dad included. He’s gotten the vengeance quest you’re always dreamed of. Frankly, it’s hot as hell.”

Before Jeff can answer, Evil Jeff turns the corner, with his Abed a step behind. He gives Jeff a small wave, then a series of explicit hand gestures Jeff doesn't think he wants to decode.

“How’s the sleepover going?” Evil Jeff asks. 

“Got to hear your whole gay Disney villian origin story.” Jeff shoots back.

“And I got to sleep with your boyfriend.” Evil Jeff sneers. 

“Are we gonna have to pull the two of you apart?” Evil Abed asks.

“No.” Both Jeffs answer at the same time, turning their eyes away from each other.

“Before you go, I have some questions.” Abed says, tilting his head at Evil Abed.

“Evil Jeff didn’t answer enough for you?”

“We were busy. With other matters. Why’d you get rid of the goatee?”

“He said it was too scratchy when we kissed.” Evil Abed replies. “It also wasn’t a great look overall.”

“It wasn't. What’s the rest of the group up to?” Abed asks.

That gets a short laugh out of Evil Jeff before he answers the question. “Evil Shirley and Evil Annie are the ones who keep Greendale running, but Evil Troy’s too soft for the nitty gritty. He still thinks Alan’s the school’s lawyer, and he’s been dead for six months.”

“Evil Britta’s probably killed more people than both of us together.” Evil Abed adds. “She poisons all the scummy guys who go to her bar. _ Way _ less evil than the two of us.”

Evil Jeff nods in agreement. “Sometimes I consider calling her Good Britta.”

“It’s been great, but we need to get back to our timeline. Annie’s been texting me about a bunch of crates that are getting dropped off at Greendale right now, and none of them know who they’re from or what’s in them.” Evil Abed says, pulling his gun out.

“That  _ is  _ a paintball gun, right?” Evil Jeff asks

“That was  _ one time _ .” Evil Abed sighs. “Will I never live it down?”

Evil Jeff inspects the gun and mutters, “No, you won’t, because you shot directly through my fucking foot and I’m already down a limb—”

“You’re lucky it was only your foot.” Evil Abed answers, then shoots blue paintballs at the toes of each of their boots.

“I’m assuming you won the bet.” Evil Abed adds as the paint reaches up their ankles.

“I did ride him on top of the piano.” Evil Jeff replies.

“Lame Jeff and I had a nice conversation.”

“You always get caught up in the exposition. Dumbass.”

“Dickwad.”

The blue paint covers them both and they’re warped away, leaving Jeff and Abed alone in their timeline.

Abed turns to Jeff with an accomplished smile. “I told you to watch out for doppelgangers.”


End file.
